I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
ADAM CAROLLA