We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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