If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLAI’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA