Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLAIf women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA