It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLAIf birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA