When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLAI have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA