Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
ADAM CAROLLAI have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I get depressed at airports.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA






