I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLALife is just the time between crapping yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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