Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLALife is just the time between crapping yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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