Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLALife is just the time between crapping yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
ADAM CAROLLA