I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAMaybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLA






