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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

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Average Batting Delusional Good Hundred Percentage Pretty

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
ADAM CAROLLA

Add Cab Car Knowing Shuttle Town Travel
It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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Around Doing Ebook Kicked Man Poor Rich Something
When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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Agent Back Country Feet Gonna Mountain Power Sterilizing
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Base Funny Include Kind King Revise Sex Sexual Sexy
We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Always Country Going Gone See Want
You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Cruise Feeling Good Internet Name Walk
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA

Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Like Performing Radio Stuff Television Watching
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Heo Methadone Monetary Organisation Welfare
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Army Decent Government Manageable Rate Regulation Standing Tax
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA

Acclimate Anything Funny Kid
Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Ashtray College High Junior School
I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Always Boxed Boxing Fight Ring Taught Won

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