The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
ADAM CAROLLAMaybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
ADAM CAROLLA