If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLAThe thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLA