We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
ADAM CAROLLA