The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLA