That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLAEverything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA