I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDSI certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS