black
grey
blue
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

W. C. Fields

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time

I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

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Popular Authors

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