“Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.”

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

A grandchild is God’s reward for raising a child.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

Only stupid one’s.

Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

I consider it an extremely dangerous doctrine, because the more likely we are to assume that the solution comes from the outside, the less likely we are to solve our problems ourselves.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Like any artist without an art form, she became dangerous.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

Government is not reason; it is not eloquence. It is force. And force, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

There is always danger for those who are afraid.

Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them.