black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

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I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

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