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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

W. C. Fields

I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

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