black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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