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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!

Bill Cosby

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY

Father Funny Love Present
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
BILL COSBY

Gift God Heart Marriage Memories Relationship
When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.
BILL COSBY

Carry Weapon Yourself
Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.
BILL COSBY

Danger People World
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
BILL COSBY

Advice Necessary Stupidity Wisdom Word
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
BILL COSBY

Fun Yourself
When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY

Deep Dream One Liner Wake Up Yourself
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
BILL COSBY

Children End Friendship Myself Play
The serve was invented so that the net could play.
BILL COSBY

Invention Play
Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Decision Fear Yourself
That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
BILL COSBY

Body Philosophy Science
And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBY

Doctor Yourself
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
BILL COSBY

Children Mom Myself Oneself Past Science Start Young
When you become senile, you won’t know it.
BILL COSBY

One Liner Yourself
Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
BILL COSBY

Myself Talk

I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!

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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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