I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBYIt is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
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Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
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Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
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In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
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When you become senile, you won’t know it.
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
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There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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All parents experience the same problems.
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Violence won’t solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.
BILL COSBY







