And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBYAdvertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
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Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
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Only stupid one’s.
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You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
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Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.
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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
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The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
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When you become senile, you won’t know it.
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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
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Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it.
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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
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Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.
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Old is always fifteen years from now.
BILL COSBY