The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERSWhen you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
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It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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I never met a man I didn’t like.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
WILL ROGERS