I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERSAll I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
More Will Rogers Quotes
-
-
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS -
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS -
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS -
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS -
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS -
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
WILL ROGERS -
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS -
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS -
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS -
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS -
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS -
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS -
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
WILL ROGERS -
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS -
If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
WILL ROGERS