An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERSAll I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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No man is great if he thinks he is.
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The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS