The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPEShe spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE -
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE -
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE -
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE -
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE -
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE -
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE -
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE -
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE -
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE -
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE -
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE