I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPEThe only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE -
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE -
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE -
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE