A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE -
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE