Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPEThe old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE -
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE -
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE -
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE -
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE -
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE