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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Bob Hope

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE

Adversity Better Lucky Now Pugs
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

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