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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

Bob Hope

I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out

It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

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Popular Authors

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