When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
