When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPEWe flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE -
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE -
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE -
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE -
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE