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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE

Day Next People See Sold Television
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

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