black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes