“Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.”

It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

I do my best on the golf course. I am learning about the business side of it. But I have a lot of great partners that help me with all those things.

How you think, and how much you think, is so important in golf.

I’ve tried to lose weight two or three times, and every time, my golf game was horrible.

My life is to play golf, sit home with the wife and kids, and do things with the family more than I used to.

I’m a golfer, and what are the two sports you can do till you drop? Golf and surfing. They’re great for you limber-wise, they’re great for you health-wise, and they put you in sweet locations.

When I used to play golf. It’s a terrible miserable game. It’s incredibly frustrating. In 18 holes you make 150 horrible shots off in the woods, in the water…

I always wanted to be a golfer, only I realised that if I’d played golf I would have been skint.

Do not hold as gold all that shines as gold.