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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

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