When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPEI’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE -
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE -
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE -
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE