“When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done”

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it’s by applause.

A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.

I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God’s path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony.

Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

Knowin’ all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein’ a good whittler.

It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.

Nothing but hard work makes dreams come true and I will slave’til the end for a chance to watch the sunrise and fall beside you.

Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding.

There’s a Grand Designer behind everything. Your life is not a result of random chance, fate, or luck. There is a master plan. History is His story. God is pulling the strings.

When you play a character, you bring yourself into the character. You get a chance to shine and show your translation for the character and her state of mind.

In prison, you get the chance to see who really loves you.

Hell is God’s great compliment to the reality of human freedom and the dignity of human choice.

India happen to me by chance. It’s in my destiny. As soon as I landed here, it only took me 4 months to know exactly why I was here and what had destined to do here.

When my little son, Prince, had health issues as a baby, we were told that he had a 20 percent chance of survival.