“Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

There’s another advantage to being poor – a doctor will cure you faster.

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I’m wrong.

If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public.

There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

It ain’t a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you’re talking about.

It’s what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

How can you think that that will evoke the past? It doesn’t even have to evoke anything, but anyway, it’s how we’re living. It’s this moment where nobody has to immediately think too much about how things are being documented. It’s a great time.

Anything that I do, I try to make it as good as I possibly can.

It’s not easy for a mother and son to sing a duet. You can’t just sing about anything.

I thought anything might happen if I wasn’t vigilant. I didn’t eat. I didn’t go out. I didn’t want to see anyone. But I survived, Paul.

You must forge your own path for it to mean anything.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

Suddenly we had become these people who didn’t drink anything but kale, who ended many of our conversations with tears, and for whom no future was guaranteed. It was kind of funny.

Don’t say anything about this to anybody. Any one would say that I am trying to play the good-natured philosopher. I am neither benefactor nor philosopher, but just a human being, and my charities are the pleasantest expense I have on these journeys.