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My body’s in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.

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They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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Before you get married you should meet your fiance’s parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
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self-pity is better than none.
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I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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