I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNSI don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
More George Burns Quotes
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS