Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNSI smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
More George Burns Quotes
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS