If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
More George Burns Quotes
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At my age flowers scare me.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS