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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Everyone Fruit Laugh Loom Met Morning Underwear

Bagwalas

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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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Born Doctor Mother Slap Ugly
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Always Found Kid Move Parent
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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