There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






