The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you’re going to America, bring your own food.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






