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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

Related Topics

Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Grub Hypochondriac Miser Money Worrywart
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Go Kitchen Mother never Other Pot Room Saw
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING

Bran Fifteen Last Live Longer Spend Toilet Year
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING

Always Dinner First Morning Plan Thing
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Funny Holocaust Joke Make Occur People Way
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING

Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING

Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell

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