“Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.”

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.

My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.

There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.

We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.

Modesty is not one of my virtues.

My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.

But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…

My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’

You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

I’ve come to realize that I perform best when I’m letting my subconscious mind hit the ball and my conscious mind is otherwise occupied.

When you live from freelance check to freelance check, your mind is always on “What’s the next piece I’m going to write, or draw, that’ll pay this month’s rent?” And so going out to play ball with my kids was a low priority.

I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.

Whether it’s teaching me a new way to cut on a wave or teach me a three-point conversion or teach me how to dribble a soccer ball. There’s something really cool about that.

I’ve always been an actress, entertaining my family was the start. I’m a goof ball among many of my cousins and siblings.

And prevent the ball from going into the pivot man.

I can catch the ball. You’ve got to throw it to me.

Byrd has always been that kind of pitcher.