I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KINGModesty is not one of my virtues.
More Alan King Quotes
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING






