I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGIf you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
More Alan King Quotes
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING