I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
ADAM CAROLLA