I get depressed at airports.
ADAM CAROLLAJunior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
ADAM CAROLLA