I know everything because I know nothing.
ADAM CAROLLAI guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
ADAM CAROLLA