A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLAI guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLA






