We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA






