If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLAThat’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I get depressed at airports.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA